Conversations with my favorite people have always been helpful to me ever since I realized the power in gaining great insights and wisdom from retrospecting. I was telling a younger friend not to take social media seriously and avoid toxic people and situations as much as she can. She replied with something that made me think again about the ways I handle personal life struggles. She told me that she realized that there are real problems, and then there are perceived ones and that it’s important to tackle the real ones. Because of this, I went back to what has been bugging me recently.
I’ve recently felt uncomfortable about something a family member said. Instead of brushing it off, I let the uncomfortable thought and feelings lingered. Then I also realized that I have a bigger problem to tackle – that is to set up my workstation at home and have everything ready before December so I can start working again. That’s what I am supposed to focus on and worry about instead of something that isn’t even worthy of my time and energy. My boyfriend kept on telling me this, but because he has a different communication style, I took his words as a personal attack. With the accidental help of a friend, I was able to digest what it meant by focusing on what’s important.
So, how do we know if a problem is real? Anything that will stop one from functioning as a member of the society is a real problem: unemployment, mental health crisis, physical health crisis, and others are what I consider real problems. I think that we need to prioritize these problems and tackle them before they get worse. What are the perceived problems, then? Anything we don’t have a piece of concrete evidence for is a perceived problem: caring about an imagined judgment from people, worrying about things we can solve, etc. are what I consider perceived problems. If anything bothers you affecting important people in your life, talk about it with them. Your loved ones will understand. If it involved people we aren’t supposed to mind, there is no use obsessing about it. Avoid toxic situations and people when you can, and train the mind to focus on what’s important when we can’t control toxic situations and people.
Because I learned this new wisdom, I also want to share them with you. Whenever you feel like everything seems to be wrong, ask these to yourself: Which one is my real problem? Which one is merely perceived? Do I prioritize in tackling the real problems or do I also give attention to problems that aren’t real (perceived problems)?
I hope I shared something insightful today. I’ll be writing again soon.
Panic Realizations 